This post is long overdue.
Today, I’m not here to tell tales about the people that live in my head and whisper secrets to me during the most unusual times; while I’m doing dishes, while I’m holding onto my hat when it gets too windy.
I’m here to talk about the way I keep the people who live in my mind stuck there, until they feed me their truth as I in turn protect them from the crazy Kampala sun that tends to scorch every single one of us. Kla dwellers have to go through this nearly every day. It causes us to hide in our houses and offices and classrooms during the day until about 6.00 p.m when the sun seems a little more calm, like someone finally gave her the nice firm scratch that she needed so that the inflammation she was bouncing right at us could finally stop. When we have no choice but to leave our refugee to go run errands, we take deep breaths and gather up so much mojo…so much that it could kill Austin Powers, rush out of our homes to get hings done quickly and then rush home for a cold soothing shower….I’m sorry, I’m ranting…
Today I’m here to talk about HATS 🙂
I’m here to talk about how every Kampalan (Is that a thing?! Can we make that a thing?) should own at least two hats. Why must we cower from the sun? That beautiful thing that the Good Lord blessed us with, that thing that we loved enough to represent it on our National Flag. Why must we hide and yet we want to go out to the beaches and go splash in the water, enjoy nyama choma; great tender goat and succulent pork bits while sipping on ice cold beers (insert your favourite brand here) or a really nice extra sweet “I’m-going-to-kill-your-teeth-and-you-won’t-have-anything-to-use-by-the-time-you’re-60” kind of sweet soda, while chatting and laughing with our friends and family about how at that moment, we do not care about deadlines and submission dates.
But what’s so very present in all the pictures we’re painting? The sun. The hot glaring sun. But we need the light, the amazing way it shines on plants, making everything bright, glistening on the calm lake and bidding us to calm the hell down. So we can’t scrap the sun out of the picture. We need it.
Now what’s missing in all these pictures? HATS. LOTS AND LOTS OF HATS. HATS EVERYWHERE.
For the men, a fedora. In the picture that I’ve drawn in my mind, it’s mainly fedoras because hey, you can’t be wearing no cowboy hats on the daily…and not everyone can rock that here. I also see a few of baseball caps, also referred to as “Snapbacks” by the younger skinny-jean wearing type. Baseball caps aren’t for everyone. You have to have a certain type of hip vibe about you to rock one of these.Fedoras fit perfectly into just about any scene; the beach, a music festival, while out for a drive, picnicking with a lady, name the place and the time and a fedora would fit in perfectly.
For the ladies, a very “larger than life” sunhat, a fabulous hat with so much colour and spirit that charms you right off the bat, a cute medium sized beauty, all to make sure that your face gets some much deserved shade. A snapback for when your mood is right up that alley. A fedora for when you’re feeling suave and chipper. A sailor hat for when you feel a little extra flirty. Women have more options to choose from which is awesome for us.
So what am I saying exactly, every Kampalan / Kla Dweller deserves to own at least two hats and portfolio has got you covered. Like for real though, we have got you covered. We have sunhats for the ladies, fedoras for the gents, snap backs and sailor hats for the more groovy, “I-won’t-be-put-in-a-box” pips who love to spice things up just a little bit. And we’ve got a lot more that we’re working on. So whether you’re in the box, out of the box or don’t even know what the box is, we’ve got a hat for you.
Another reason why you need a hat while in Kampala, we have events nearly all the time; music festivals, arts festivals, brunch and tea functions. We have so much going on in our sunny little country. You just have to have hat. You have to look have your “I-still-look-amazing-even-with-heat” game on fleek. If you’re in the area code, head over to Bold at Acacia Mall and pick yourself two hats. Why two hats? Because every Kla dweller just has to have at least two hats. One is just too few.
So how about we all change our display pictures on Whatsapp to this lovely logo 🙂 When people ask, “What’s all that about?” Tell them there are these amazing portfolio hats that you can find at Bold, Acacia Mall.