The rebound, the fluffer and the back-up


I speak for women when I say that we need to have all three of these men in our lives. I don’t fully understand men enough to speak for them on this front. But I speak for women and women need them. We really do.

In the course of a woman’s life, she will be heartbroken, she will set her sights on a man that she cannot actually have and try anyway, she will give the wrong man a chance and end up regretting it and feeling like her time and emotions were severely wasted and she will be single and possibly question what is wrong with her and why no potential suitors- the kind that she wants coming her way- aren’t noticing her like she hoped they would. All these are likely to happen to every woman at least once in her lifetime.

Because of all these very unfortunate events, every woman at one point in time or another is going to need a rebound, a fluffer or the back-up. Who are these special men? They are necessary distractions from the cruelty that the world presents to women’s emotions.

For all those who aren’t yet aware of who and/or what these men are, here’s a breakdown for you. You just might realize that you already have them in your life.

…every woman at one point in time or another is going to need a rebound, a fluffer or the back-up…

The rebound. The moment you break up with a man you thought was possibly the love of your life, you will be broken and shattered. You won’t desire anything but sleep, some hard liquor, Jesus and a chance to cry your eyes out. A rebound is there to take your mind off the stress of reminiscing happier days, only for a moment. “To get over one man, get under another,” they say. “They” was a scorned, frustrated but wise woman who figured it out a long time ago. A rebound will help you erase the more intimate memories and replace them with more recent and hopefully more pleasant ones. You must, however, remember not to catch feelings for your rebound. Your rebound only exists to replace the mental picture of a man in your mind to something else that doesn’t bring you to tears. Your rebound only exists to keep you warm as and when you require said warmth. Your rebound is not your future boyfriend. Make this your mantra and repeat it. Your rebound is not your future boyfriend.

The back-up. Who is the back-up? If you play your cards right, he’s your next boyfriend.  He’s that guy who you often referred to as the right guy who came into your life at the wrong time (A lot of times there’s nothing wrong about the timing. You were just still blinded by the jerk who is now your ex). The back-up is the kind of guy that you would base your “perfect boyfriend manual” on. He’s the guy who already told you a long time ago that he has feelings for you and for whom at that moment you felt something in your chest jump but because you were trying to be a good girl and commit, you said to him, “I can’t do this. I’m seeing someone else.” He’s the guy who still stuck around even after you told him about your now ex. He’s the guy you’re perfectly in sync with and kept in touch with. He’s the guy that showed you he truly does care about you. After the break-up, you have about five minutes to give a *hoot* about the ex and to debrief your spirit on the tragedy that just occurred and then move right along to a man that is hopefully better than your ex.

…play those cards right, sista…

Then there’s the fluffer. Oh, the fluffer. Songs will never be sung about him. Poems will never be written of his bravery. Nor will whispers among girlfriends be uttered or cute giggles shared. When his name is mentioned, most will say “Who?” But the fluffer is a hero. He will never know it but he is a hero. Who is the fluffer? The fluffer, also known as the emotional fluffer, is the guy who is strangely always there. He was there before the ex, before rebound, even before back-up. He might have even been there two boyfriends ago. There are two types of fluffers. Fluffer type A is the friend a woman will be comfortable around. She might tell him her dreams and aspirations and he’ll cheer her on. He’s the good guy that she sees absolutely no future with. When you try to consider a relationship with him, you cringe, you hear crickets. It’s empty because you feel nothing for him yet he feels boundless love for you. The fluffer only exists to massage your ego, to remind you that you’re beautiful, intelligent, smoking hot, and that much desirable.

Then there’s Fluffer type B.  He is that weird, annoying guy who after the nth time of asking you out to just one cup of coffee, even half a cup of coffee, just won’t take no for an answer. But he still serves the purpose to reassure the woman that she is desirable. Sadly many guys fall in this bracket, not because they aren’t handsome enough or interesting enough. Sometimes they just lack…something. Some fluffers, from the Fluffer type A bracket especially, have the potential of moving up to the back-up position or if they are lucky enough to the position of the rebound. How does a guy know he’s a fluffer? He never really does. Only a girl can tell who are her fluffers are.

We can’t end this rant without talking about the ex. Here’s a mantra for you to meditate upon; my ex is in the past. You moved passed this. Keep moving. And if he’s the one who turned around and left you, turn the way and don’t turn back. There are too many good men out there for you to care anymore. Repeat that mantra: my ex is in the past. Now entertain yourself with some fresh meat.

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